Moments in time
by xentrya
Summary: A series of short stories based on certain moments in Xena and Ares' lives:) ... The stories are not connected with one another :)
1. Spying on you

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

**ARES' POV**

It was one of those painfully tensed months when we would literally jump at each other's throats for right about anything….Maybe it was the boredom, maybe the need to make sure that we still had what it takes to get on each other's nerves….Heck, maybe it was the fool moon, Hades knows!

….Anyway, that day had been all about releasing some negative pent up energy I guess, and, following a very predictable pattern, the justification of all that unprecedented physical and verbal explosion had been a bunch of hungry to make a name for themselves wannabe warriors -who were barely able to raise a sword properly, but who were very determinate and convinced in their limitless stupidity that it was in their destiny to rule over the united Greek lands….

You might wonder why would that bother Xena to the extent as to display such an – and I quote " 'Never want to see you again in my life!" resentful attitude….

One might think that being the fearless**/** legendary Warrior Princess and all, it's part of her job description to mop the floor with every bad guy/lunatic walking around loose- no discrimination allowed- while my part is to provide her with the fighting … material….Well, here's the news: that's what I thought too!…. It appears that I was wrong and that when she asked me **not** to attack **that **city during** that** particular day, given the fact that it was the irritating Blonde's birthday and the Harpy was in the mood to have a normal, carefree afternoon of shopping, she had actually meant it!

Consequently, sending those good for nothing dummies to seize the town and take a couple of women and children prisoners- despite the fact that it only took her less than five minutes to break their skulls and send them flying out the city gates- must have been the worst idea I had in like..eons….I've never seen her so upset in my life….She was breathing fire ….

The instant I saw that look in her eyes I knew it….I'd really screwed things up big time.

I tried to joke my way out of the whole mess of course, acting as if having deliberately ignored her request – her asking me a favor being a once in a lifetime event- wasn't such a big deal, fully convinced that once she had clamed down she would just drop the mean chick attitude and brush it all under the carpet….

I even tried acting all macho as if her being angry at me was the last thing in the world I cared about….As expected, nothing worked….not even the puppy eyes routine- yeah I can do that too- She was that pissed!...Still is…

So here I am now, licking my emotional wounds in the only place where my rugged social skills are not tested under any circumstance- because there are simply no people around…only walls, weapons …and many, many things to break- aka the Halls of War-.

I can only wish for the wound licking and for this constant pacing back and forth -that I just can't stop – to finally work, and to somehow help me relax….It doesn't seem to have any effect though, not at the moment at least, and the open portal showing her half undressed, sitting on a log doesn't help much….And no, I'm not some sex obsessed voyeur who's only hope in life is to bang her one of these days- we had a lot of that lately- , that's actually what I do…Well, **besides** waging wars, making fun of Jerkules, and enjoying bloodsheds .….To make a long story short, watching her is like... my favorite hobby…? And don't give me that look, cause all mortals have hobbies, why shouldn't I have one?! It's not like I'm breaking the law, ok?!

So….where was I? Yeah….I'm watching her….She's just taken off her armor….and her leather dress…hopefully she'll take off her nightshift too….She doesn't- that's a massive disappointment- and…. she's looking for something in her saddlebag….

While she does that, I finally notice that the Blonde Pest is not around- that's highly unusual given that at this late hour she's usually scrabbling some worthless poetical nonsense on some parchment…Maybe she's taking a bath, there's a river nearby….Or maybe she drown!

That overwhelmingly wonderful scenario makes me open another portal….Damn! I knew I couldn't get **that** lucky all of the sudden! The Harpy is still in town, having dinner at what appears to be a very crowded tavern…She'll be there for the rest of the night, that's for sure, judging by the enormous quantity of food she generally devours!

I close the portal while an extra large grin begins tickling my lips, spreading contagiously towards the ears…..

I shift my attention back at Xena….She's still there, staring absently at the bright orange flames of the campfire. In the dark, her perfectly traced silhouette is even more alluring than during daytime….Absolutely stunning….and as her right hand starts moving up and down her long tresses, brushing them, I suddenly find myself licking my lips….Gods, this woman is so unearthly tempting! I just need to get a closer look!

Within seconds, the aether transports me to her, a few feet away from the fallen timber….I don't step out of the vortex though; the last thing I want is for her to sense me

…So I stay here, behind her, well cloaked by the impenetrable walls of the massive tunnel of energy surrounding me….She can't feel my presence….can she?

Theoretically no, for I haven't gotten a foothold in her world yet…I'm still inside the void….But practically…..well, practically, her skin is already covered up in goose bumps and I can see her muscles tensing…..No…it can't be….'must be the cold…..It's late spring….Spring nights are said to be cold at times...Well maybe this is precisely one of those chilling nights- that would certainly explain the campfire- I say to myself while watching her relax again…..

See? It's all in my head…..

Talking about heads, she's now tilting hers back, and I could bet my godhood that those hypnotizing baby blues I love so much, are now closed…Sweet Gaia, there are so many obscene Kamasutra positions rushing to take over my brain right now….I can already picture myself fucking her hard on that log, her legs firmly wrapped around my hips, and her arms locked around my neck, screaming my name deliriously while my cock….

The image breaks though the very moment she begins massaging her shoulders….Oh yeah Baby, that's what I'm talking about….Feeling good….And though this might ruin my image for like the rest of eternity, I gotta confess it: I can already feel the bulge in my pants growing tighter and tighter….By the time her fingers begin gliding up and down her arms, my cock is rock hard, pulsating wildly while aching to fill her, and by Zeus all Mighty, I know how ridiculous I must sound right now, but the only image I can see before my eyes as she bends again to get something else from the saddle bag, is the one of me throwing her on all fours on the ground…The rest is easy to guess….

To top it all, as if getting me this aroused isn't enough, to my unspeakable surprise**/ **luck, she pulls a pretty, purple bottle out of the bag….I bite my lower lip in delight: I could recognize the smell from one hundred miles away-: lavender oil….

As if reading my thoughts, and as if all of my fantasies start coming to life, with slow, sensual strokes, she begins applying it on her legs, sweetly caressing everything- from the tips of her toes to her knees and then upper to her inner and outer thighs-….I can virtually feel the touch of her skin now…so soft so…lubricated…so…slippery….so ready for me…..Yeah, I'm already talking about something else, I'm well aware of that, thank you!

Tartarus, the restless twitching of my shaft is getting unbearable, my balls are ready to explode and as much as I try to ignore it, I can't! Not when her skillful hands are moving towards the upper part of her chest now, right above her breasts where she lingers temptingly, as if aware that she is being watched….

"_Oh Princess, I could do that, sooo much better, and you know it….."_ I think to myself, instinctively rubbing the oversized erection through my pants, and before I know it, some unconscious command tells me to close in the distance between us….

Almost without realizing what I'm doing, I'm leaving the aether, and the energetic vortex closes behind me, leaving me "exposed" to her….Strangely, she doesn't seem to notice, cause she doesn't flinch a muscle…..Instead, she keeps pouring some more oil on her arms , and for the next couple of minutes, such unprecedented fire stirs up inside me, that I'm sure it could burn the entire Athens to the ground in but a matter of seconds, cause just when I genuinely believe that I can't take it anymore, she suddenly pushes the straps of her nightshift away, and lets it slide down on the thick grass beneath her feet…

By this time, I can feel my heart drumming into my temples, making me deaf and blind to any other insignificant detail from that natural landscape, anything but her….

"Are you enjoying yourself?" she suddenly asks, and it takes me almost forever to realize that she has actually said something, my eyes now firmly glued on her breasts…

I can feel her gaze drilling through me, burning everything in sight but I'm sure it's just a coincidence cause she can't possibly see me….Despite having left the aether, I'm cloaked in my mantle of invisibility….She might sense me there, but to actually see me? No way in Tartarus!

"Cat got your tongue?" she questions again, while her still oily hands start massaging her stomach, with repeated, circular moves, and then, as if fulfilling one of my most hidden desires, they move to those ultimately luscious breasts... I can actually see her nipples growing larger with each move until they are fully erect…..

Needless to say that my eyes are on the verge of popping out of my head right now….Still, as my brain finally manages to decode the message of her lasts sentence, a sudden wave of shock washes through me, a dozen of alarm signals going simultaneously off inside my mind. How could this be?! How could she be aware that I'm standing right here? Good Gods she's staring me dead in the eye!

"Your mantle fell. " she casually explains, looking down, acid irony reverberating from her every word….

I gulp noisily…..She's right…..

I try to say something, but she cuts me off. It doesn't matter anyway, it wasn't important, and I would have only made a fool out of my self -even more than I already have, if that is even possible.

" So this is how you spend your free time…"

I frown a bit, but I refuse to contradict her….Given our eccentric history together, I'm well aware that would be a very, very bad idea….As a result, I find myself nodding imperceptibly.

"Well…I guess this is as good a hobby as any….It's a good thing you're here too….I kinda needed a backrub " she adds, throwing me the lavender oil bottle, and it takes another thirty seconds or so for me to realize that she is serious about it…..

"Just in case you haven't noticed it's freezing out here!" she stresses as soon as she reads the hesitation written all over my face.

Before I know it, she's once again seated on that log, her back turned towards me, waiting for me to start my massage….

"Weren't you mad at me or something?" I whisper against her ear, while my fingers are working feverishly at releasing the tension from those stony muscles.

"I still am.. ."

"Oh…."

"…but we could call it a truce for the next couple of hours though…."

Her voice is dark and alluring…as tempting as only a mermaid's song could be….Dangerously tempting….Sweet poison I'd like to call it…

"That's a fabulous idea…." I murmur back, unable to restrain the desire to kiss her left shoulder, and for a moment there, I can't help thinking that I'm the luckiest Bastard alive to have such amazing woman in my life….

…And just when I'm about to pat myself on the back for my unbelievable success, shock and awe! During the very following moment, I'm biting the dust, my body instantly curling up into a ball right next to the fallen log, and, as humiliating as it might be, I have to admit it, I have never heard such disturbingly loud groans breaking out of anyone's lungs in my life….My balls must have exploded under the impact of that amazon-raw elbow kick.

I should be furious with her right now, trust me I know, and I will be probably fuming in around two minutes or so, but first,I have to learn to cope somehow with this excruciating pain that's making my teeth clench to the point where I literally feel my jaw gradually cracking.

"Don't ever spy on me again!" she growls against my lips, ready to take a bite out of them.

I'm still too focused on breathing to consider formulating an answer.

"Now get up already and finish that massage! You do work wonders with those hands…"

"Just give me a minute will you? I'm in pain here, for crying out loud!" I mumble, doing visible efforts to get up, and as soon as the words leave my mouth I can't help wondering what on earth has possessed me to say that when in fact I should be spitting fire, breaking her neck and digging her grave all at once?! When in Tartarus have I become her love slave?! That is an extremely good question...

Still- and you have all the reasons to consider it cheesy and sloppy- once I manage to get back on my feet, there's no murder goin' on; we simply stare at each other instead- like two damaged maniacs- mentally weighing the pros and cons of a future line building on the tip of our tongues.

"So….are we even now?" I ask, in a slightly amused tone which -judging by the look in her eyes-she seems to appreciate.

"I'd say we are…."

"Good….well turn around then….I'm still anxious to show you that my hands are not the only part of my body I can work wonders with!"

She rolls her eyes at me and chuckles softly but I can read her like an open book….She wants me!

"You never learn, do you?" she asks while I cut all the remaining distance between us….

I don't say anything, I just place my hands on her hips and turn her around myself…She doesn't fight it, not one bit, dead sure that after the merciless blow I've received, there's no freakin' way I'd be able to use my cock for the next century or so, and thus, she keeps chuckling mockingly when I bend her over that timber, pushing her legs apart.

Noticing her lack of resistance, and guessing the reason behind her attitude, I just grin widely while before my eyes, a completely different scenario unfolds…...the same one in which I can see her surprised face the instant my massive, throbbing shaft spreads her open, plunging deep inside her with the speed and force of a hungry beast chasing it's prey…..

…..Minutes later, the heavy panting, those wild primal cries breaking from her lungs and that unique sensation of her soft flesh melting against mine, finally give me an upper hand on her…I 'm finally able to regain my place, showing her who the Alpha really is!

This is definitely the best method to make a lady forget why she was mad on you in the first place…

"Nice vocals…" I inevitably remark, kissing her hair affectionately while I pull myself out of her…"Spying on you is definitely worth the effort….."

She just throws me a hot, dirty look.

I offer her a boyish smile in return, making sure to plant a soft kiss on her forehead. I want her to feel loved….And if my guess is right, she really does…


	2. Lame jokes

**Xena POV**

"I don't get it Xena, why does he **always** have to follow us around? Don't they have stuff to do up on Olympus? Did Zeus fire him or something? Can Gods even get fired? "

Here we go again... I could definitely see this coming….Ever since Ares and I got back together again- it was not official of course given how much I do cherish my sanity- Gabrielle found out that it was absolutely impossible for her to shut up about how completely unusual and irritating Ares' constant lurking around our camp- and mainly right about anywhere we went- was….

If only she knew the reasons empowering him with such carefree exposure… She would have put my head on a spike, no doubt about it…

"I don't know Gabrielle, maybe he's bored or something…"

My voice was calm but her useless agitation was starting to bug me….It's not like I didn't hate the fact that he was constantly making an appearance just to irk her, but than again Gabrielle had always been a natural when it came to blowing things out of proportion, and besides, by that time he had been walking by our side for a couple of hours without uttering one single word…Complete silence...

"Bored? I was under the impression that Gods were always busy….He should have some wars to oversee! There must be a squabble somewhere in Greece….! I mean Greece is a large territory, Xena! From the Ionian to the Aegean the markets are always overcrowded... and so are the docks! …People are always arguing there, he should definitely check them out!"

"Ares isn't exactly the **squabble** type of guy….He's more into mayhem and cold blooded murders….and take my word for it, you don't want him** busy! **

"He should really get a life! …..Or a girlfriend….Maybe a woman could keep him away from us for a few moons….Is he out of priestesses? I've heard they have some pretty interesting taverns back in Athens...They're cheap, so I'm sure he could afford some... company...Not that being a God and all money would be a problem , right? Or, even better, why don't we talk to Aphrodite about it? I'm sure she'd love to help us out with that….If she can't hook him up than nobody can! She can even put a love spell on him!"

For the love of Zeus, I couldn't help that chuckle, not if my own life depended on it! ...Not with Ares looking at her as if he were about to hack her to pieces and cook her for dinner….

"I'm sure he wouldn't like that…." I replied, trying not lo laugh.

"Who cares?! As long as it works…."

"Why are you two talking about me like I wouldn't even be here?" he finally intervened, obviously bothered by the Bard's nerve to deliberately ignore him to **that** extent…He still believed with all his heart that **the art of** **ignoring people** was only mastered by him and him alone….

"You shouldn't be here!" Gabrielle snapped, glaring daggers at him….

"Me?! **You** shouldn't be here!" he protested, almost sticking his tongue at her.

"What? My place is right here by Xena's side, she's **my best friend**! I'm supposed to be here."

"Not in my book! And she is **my** **Chosen**! I'm her **patron God**! My job is to watch over her!"

"Well go watch over her from some temple! You do have more than a few! Plus, she can very well take care of herself ! She's not a child she's a Warrior, and a very good one, too!"

I cast them both a long, disinterested glance, wondering whether slapping them silly would look as overly theatrical as I had imagined it.

"I'm well aware of that, thank you; **I** was the one who trained her for crying out loud!"

"You might have trained her but she perfected those skills on her own….So stop bragging about her abilities!"

"I wasn't bragging, I was making a point! "

"Well nobody asked you to do that, so go away already! I can't even breathe with you…."

"With me what?!"

"With you …**here**!"

He just gave her a condescending smile in response before adding:

"So, what exactly is your problem? I haven't articulated **one syllable** since I got here…."

At that, I threw her a disconcerting look as well. That was a good question actually.

"Don't give me that look Xena, cause I'm not paranoid. He's doing it on purpose! "

I just had to ask.

"Doing what?"

"Yeah Bard, doing **what**?!" Ares bit, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"He's trying to piss me off!"

"What? How in the name of...me..could I do that if I didn't even...! " Ares exploded accusingly like an aggrieved five year old child, brutally interrupted of course by the visibly impatient Gabrielle.

"That's the point! Xena! He's just standing there like a statue! "

"I'm not standing, I'm walking!"

"This is ridiculous!" I mumbled to myself, rolling my eyes at their immature behavior.

"Why are you here, again?" she insisted, on the lowest of tones I had ever heard her use.

"Do I need a reason to be here?"

He was really mad now. I could clearly hear him gritting his teeth…That was not a good sign…

"Yes!"

"Fine! I came to tell jokes and riddles!"

He was obviously patronizing her. She didn't get it…

"Well we have Joxer for that…."

"I don't see him around"

"That's only because we finally managed to successfully abandon him back in Corinth! I prey to the Fates that we do the same with you in the next city!"

The words sounded unnaturally harsh coming from her mouth…I could have said that wayyyy better….

"You heartless, seven headed Hidra!"

"You worthless Son of a Bachae!"

"That's Xena's line!"

"Well I'm sure she doesn't mind me using it! Right?" she questioned drilling me with that savage, cannibalistic gaze.

I just put on my sweet, innocent expression…..There was no way I could win that…

"You could really use some manners, Bard!"

"Huh! Look who's talking about manners! Can you believe that?!" she kept pressing me, knowing how much I disliked being backed into a corner.** "Intruder!**"

"If anyone's the intruder here, that would be you, **Sidekick**! I was the one who knew Xena first! You barged into the story wayyyy later! Like…**ten** years later!"

"Yeah! Well someone needed to mend what you broke you Selfish Toad! "

"You obnoxious little tra…."

"Ok that's enough!" I shouted from the top of my lungs, grabbing a fistful of Gabrielle's thick hair with one hand, and one of Ares' dark curls with the other. "I don't wanna hear one more word about this or I'll break your necks! "

"Well it's not my fault, she started it!" Ares growled, subtly trying to provoke the already boiling Bard.

"You've been asking for it!" my friend rushed to respond, and for a second there she seemed to have forgotten everything about the part in which my fingers were still tightly clenched into her golden locks... A low moan of pain soon followed, accompanied by Ares' hysterical laughter.

"You're such a sucker, Blondie!"

"Xenaaaa!" she complained, frustrated by the impossibility to react properly.

I took in a deep breath of air….This couldn't work otherwise…..

"Ok….here's how we're gonna solve this…."

They both stopped struggling and fixed me with wondering eyes.

"Ares….you said you came to tell us jokes and riddles. Fine….You have three attempts to make Gabrielle laugh. If you manage to do that, you can stay some more. If not, you'll teleport your godly ass back to Olympus, got it? "

He just nodded vigorously.

Gabrielle grinned widely. She had probably realized that when it came to telling jokes, Ares was worse than Joxer multiplied with one thousand- well,when it came to her type of jokes, that is, cause nobody could ever deny the fact the God of War was actually the ultimate master of subtle, dark humor.. But then again, there was no way in Tartarus she could get to comprehend it …Her simplicity was striking at times...

I was finally able to breathe….We were getting somewhere….

"Ok…." Ares began, winking seductively at me while ferreting through the depth of his infinite memory in search for a good enough crack to break down my friend's defenses.

"I'm so gonna enjoy this…."Gabrielle whispered against my ear, pure satisfaction reverberating from her voice, and I was ready to mumble something back when Ares started to speak :

"So…here we go, Blondie….**What's pink, fluffy, and cannot move?**"

"Is this a joke or a riddle? " she questioned, apparently confused about the nature of his line.

"Both. Just answer the damn question. "

She looked to be thinking for a couple of seconds….

"A flower? "

"No"

"A pillow?"

"Nooo…"

"A…kite? A cat? "

"A…**cat**?! Have you ever seen a pink cat?" he asked, giving me a **" is she for real?"** type of look.

I just shrugged my shoulders while sketching a bemused smile at the sight of his dumbfounded expression.

"Fine, I give up. What is it?"

"Xena? Any guesses?"

"I haven't got a clue" I quickly announced. I hated riddles…Still do…

When the answer came though, an uncontrollable wave of laughter literally exploded from my chest…That was surely my type of joke.

"Aphrodite chained to a bed!"

"What ? That makes no sense….Dite is not,….fluffy! " Gabrielle protested, obviously anything but amused.

"...Her hair is!" Ares rushed to explain, and for some odd reason I discovered that I just couldn't stop the sounds bursting out my throat.

"You don't say about hair that it's fluffy….It might be soft or silky…"

"Well….her pubic hair** is** fluffy, I can assure you! "

It was official, my stomach hurt from so much laughing, and tears were streaming down my face.

"Why are you laughing? That's not even funny, it's groase!" she questioned, looking me dead in the eye.

I immediately put on a regretful face.

"Oh , it's funny, you just happen to lack any sense of humor possible, Village Girl!"

Just as she was about to contradict him , he began the second joke:

"Ok….try this….**Why do virgins always prefer bad boys?** "

"Virgins don't always prefer bad boys, Ares. When** I** was a virgin, the first guy that…"

"Wait wait wait !You were a virgin too?!" he exclaimed, sounding utterly surprised by the content of that unexpected confession.

This time, the look she gave me was a completely exasperated one .

"Ares come on!" I barked, doing my best to sound displeased by his insinuation. He was just kidding of course, but try explaining that to the Bard of Potidea...

It worked, he stopped attacking her.

"….Whatever…why?" Gabrielle demanded to know.

"Because bad boys are actually good….in bed !...Get it? Good in bed? "

Naturally, I was once more laughing my head off, to my friend's limitless revolt.

"You're such a sick pervert!" she screamed at him, scandalized by the whole situation.

"And you're such a two face slut!…" he stang, thrilled by the whirl of emotions he had managed to trigger inside her.

"Hey!" I yelled again, adding a mild push to stress my intent. This was getting to be quite a chore.

" Fine…Ok, one more…."

"Thank the heavens!" Gabrielle muttered, anxious to see him leave.

**" Why do horses prefer apples to anything else?"**

This was a classic. And this time, the laughter overwhelmed me way before I even heard the answer. It was hilarious.

As usually, Gabrielle stared at me in awe, unable to comprehend the hidden meaning of the joke.

" Because they're yummy?" she tried, waiting for confirmation.

"No..."

"Because they're juicy?"

"Neahhh"

"Because they're horses?"

Judging by her voice she was furious enough as to take on an army all by herself.

"No….it's because that's the closest thing they'll ever have to bird meat…"

I could clearly hear that noisy gulp gliding down her throat.

"That's….that's sadism! " she made sure to inform him, utter disgust written all over her face.

"Not when you cook it and add some spices…Maybe a bit of sauce…?" he stressed, making an obvious allusion at the two deep-fried doves Gabrielle had had in the morning.

"That's it Xena! I can't even stand being near him! I'm going to feed Argo! He'd better be gone when I come back!"

"Try giving her some apples! She loves them!" Ares observed mockingly. She kept walking, acting like she didn't hear him…

I made sure he received a punch in the arm in return.

"You just can't help yourself can you? "

"No….Does that make me the bad guy?"

"Those are the lamest jokes I've ever heard in my life!"

"What are you talking about ? You were laughing like crazy just seconds ago!"

"I was laughing watching you two…." I teased. "You'd make a great team together….You're quite funny…"

"You must be joking! " he said, an incredulous grin flashing on his sexy, masculine features.

"I am actually. So…why are you here, Ares?"

"Let's say that kissing you was the only thing I could think about all morning...So here I am...….."

That being said, the next thing I knew, his tongue was confidently parting my wanting lips in search for my own, as for my head, it was literally spinning as a result of those hard to repress sensations I always got whenever his fingers entangled into my hair, pulling me impossibly close to him….Everything inside me ignited at the contact, and by all Gods and Goddesses, I swear I could distinctly feel my body melting like a candle into his passionate embrace... Silently, I prayed and hoped that Gabrielle was ticked off enough as to stay with Argo for a while longer... .

"I've missed you, Princess…"

His voice was dark, mysterious and alluring...The perfect combination...It's no wonder that the words poured from my mouth like wine from a glass...no hold backs...

"If you kiss me again, I might just confess that I've missed you too…"


End file.
